Can you REALLY consider a nap to be unproductive?

I strongly debated starting this, my first blog, by explaining the main reason I deleted my old one. Aside from the relative absurdity of having a blog on MySpace, it held some appeal for me as the place I met my wife. Go figure. It’s not the MOST unlikely thing to have happened but it certainly rates right up there with Jimmy Carter being voted back into the White House any time soon. Suffice to say that I found the only people on MySpace that really needed the blog in order to keep up with me, were the ones I didn’t necessarily  WANT keeping up with me. When you discover you have slept with greater than 20% of the people on your friends list, it’s time to go. Or start charging. I will say my friends list wasn’t all THAT big, but still. And I found myself regularly checking on the activity of those I really don’t need or care to know about. Rather like going a block out of your way while driving to work just so you could drive by and see a traffic accident. Every morning. Like television. Irresistible and yet, so very bad for you. So in the interest of moving on from this “wasn’t supposed to be an explanation but has turned into something that suspiciously looks like one” conversation, I blogged about something else instead:

I’m wondering, because that’s what I often do when I’m avoiding issues, if it’s a genetic abnormality that causes me to drop off to sleep at the most inopportune times. I vividly remember that my grandmother could never sit anywhere for any length of time before her head fell back and she began to snore those loud, rattling, “your going to wake yourownself up” snores. Is this the true sign of aging? A completely blameless inability to stay awake? Having recently gone to the doctor, convinced of my either shortage or overabundance of some vital hormone that is causing this phenomenon, I can tell you, it’s distressing. Yesterday I started to doze off while actively involved in watching a video I was interested in. In lab. On a lab chair that is really nothing more than a utilitarian bar stool. While sitting next to, not one, but two professors. I woke up just as I began to slump sideways like a 3 am drunk and jerked so hard I nearly threw myself off the chair in the OTHER direction. I’ve now been up for 3 1/2 hours and I’m thinking a nap is looking like a VERY attractive prospect. So I’m left with some possibilities. I’m become old. This lacks ANY appeal I have to say. I’m not exercising enough. This has a great deal of merit and not a little bit of likelihood. I’m sleep deprived. Possible but I don’t put much weight in it. Nobody that naps as much as I do is sleep deprived. My sleep apnea has flared up and I’m sleep deprived. This is my doctor’s favorite theory, not mine. I’ve recently been bitten by tsetse fly and NONE of this is my fault. I like this one the best. It has panache. And implies I’m well traveled.

I suppose I’ll try exercising first though. I’m going to need to. I have to get on that motherfucking boat for another trawl trip. AGAIN. I just hate that boat. 3 hours of “stand around in orange rubber pants and wait”. 1 hour of frantically avoiding ratfish spines and wondering if you will EVER stop smelling like the dumpster behind Long John Silver’s. Another hour of stomping around like the Lord of The Dance in ill-fitting rubber boots to try and get the feeling back in your feet. Two words people. FRESH WATER. Some of us study fresh water!

(Dragoonnnn… I don’t do that tongue shit.)